More from my unpublished memoirs…
Wendy likes alligators. The street vendors and shops in Moscow sell all kinds of varied things and many look out of place in the dirty big city environment of Moscow. A store close to my temporary housing about half a mile from the Embassy had stuffed animals, along with normal groceries. A bizarre mix, it seemed to me, but I was good with it. They had this outrageous stuffed alligator – all six feet of one. I think it was less than $20. I had no decorations in my small apartment, so I decided to get it as a gift.
From the store, it was only another 100 yards or so to the apartment. When I reached the door, I realized that I had left my key in my office at the Embassy. Why would I take my keys out of my pocket?
I couldn’t answer that, but I had plenty of time to think about it as I trudged through a half mile of humid, fetid Moscow in July past Russia’s White House to get back to the Embassy. I showed my badge and went through the turnstile, still carrying my six-foot long alligator. I walked up the two flights of stairs to my office, recovered my keys and began the walk back to my apartment, the alligator going from under my arm to over my shoulder to wrapped around my waist to my other arm….
What’s the moral of this story, besides not buying six-foot long stuffed alligators? I really don’t know. I was in Moscow as a credentialed diplomat, and I was not supposed to bring attention to myself. My answer to that was to wander around the city in a coat and tie carrying a six-foot long stuffed alligator. I wonder if that was the picture on the outside jacket of my FSB file…
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